So here's the deal, last night I might just have experienced my most embarrassing moment to date. Yes, it's worse than when I fell flat on my face in front of a room full of people and the time I ran out of the loo in Wendys with my dress totally tucked into my underwear because the toilet was overflowing. It's a lot worse and, while it doesn't involve falling over, it does (thankfully) involve underwear. Right, so last night it was my leaving extravaganza at work because, you know, I'm moving to Zurich and all. I chose to rock my fake leather trousers that I got from Next a while back and all was going well. They actually stretched out a bit over the course of the night which, considering all the french toast I've been eating lately, was making me feel pretty good about the size of my belly. Anyway, back to the point... all was going well until I realized that two giant rips had formed across the knees of the trousers. Pretty funny, I thought, which is why I took the above photo of the situation (see, my knees are totally exposed, kind of funny). What wasn't funny though was a while later when I realized there was an unnatural amount of breeze drifting past my backside. When I reached my hand around to touch my hinny and check that everything was intact instead of feeling platic-y leather I was greeted with the feeling of my cotton knickers. Yes, that's right boys and girls, my trousers ripped straight up the back seam revealing my entire butt to the whole of Oxford's classy crowd. Needless to say I made a beeline for the exit, all the while pulling my jumper down as far as possible. My face was likely shining as pink as the underwear I was trying to hide.
I'm just putting this out there as a word of advice to anyone planning to wear any sort of dodgy imitation leather trousers. Don't drop it like it's hot and, if you must, make sure to wear panties that cover your bum unless you wish to show your naked tush to the world.
p.s. distraught as I might be about the horrendous massacre of my trousers, I like them too much to let them slip away so I'm going to get another pair. But this time I will try to move with a bit more caution when I wear them.